Your Turn to Suffer Read online

  The longer Lori stood there, the more she became aware of a sour-sweet odor hanging heavy in the air. She didn’t know what was causing the stink, but it turned her stomach.

  She knew she shouldn’t ask, knew she’d regret it if she did, but she couldn’t stop herself.

  “What was it? The thing that he threw at you?”

  “It bounced off my car and fell onto the road before I got a good look at it. But once my heart stopped racing, I hit my hazard lights and got out of the car to see what it was. I found it lying next to the curb about ten feet behind my car. It was a cat. A tabby. I figured it had already been dead when the guy in the sunglasses threw it out of his window. Its head was twisted all the way backward. That’s not the sort of injury that could happen on impact, right?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Lori tried to keep from imagining the details of Katie’s story, but she couldn’t help it. She saw the blurred orange form of the cat fly out the window of the Driver’s black car, heard the dull thump as it struck the hood of Katie’s car and bounced off, saw it lying next to the curb, head twisted, neck broken. She felt weak, lightheaded, dizzy. She needed to get out of here, get out into the fresh air. She lurched toward the door, but before she could grab the handle, Katie said, “And do you know what the worst part was?”

  Don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look back….

  But of course she looked.

  Katie had reached down and from somewhere behind the counter she brought up a ragged mass of blood-soaked fur. It was the cat from her story – part of it, anyway. Its lower half was missing and entrails hung down loose from the opening, the organs wet and glistening. Lori now understood what caused the foul order that was stinking up the reception area.

  “He’d already eaten half of it, the greedy bastard.”

  Katie raised the tabby’s remains to her mouth, sank her teeth into its chest, and began snarling and shaking her head, trying to tear a mouthful free. There was a horrible ripping sound as Katie pulled a hunk of bloody fur and meat from the cat’s corpse. She pulled her head back and chewed vigorously, making awful smacking sounds, her lips and chin smeared with the animal’s blood. After a moment, she tossed her head back and swallowed. Then she lowered her head and looked at Lori. She blinked several times as if she’d forgotten she was standing there.

  “Where are my manners?” She held the cat out toward Lori. “Want some?”

  Lori dashed forward and slammed her shoulder into the door. It swung violently outward, and she flung herself onto the sidewalk outside Get Moving! The door slowly closed behind her as she ran toward her car, but before it closed completely, she heard Katie shout.

  “Be that way! It just means more for me!”

  * * *

  Lori’s pad thai was cold by the time she finished telling Reeny her story. At first Reeny had eaten her Singapore noodles while Lori had talked, but she’d soon gotten so caught up in her sister’s tale that she’d stopped eating and listened intently, leaning forward, eyes wide, lips slightly parted, as if she wanted to interrupt but forced herself to remain silent. By the time Lori finished speaking, her mouth and throat felt dry as desert sand. She reached for her glass of water. Her hand trembled so badly she feared she might drop the glass, so she lowered her hand to her lap. She’d have to live with her dry mouth for the time being.

  Reeny didn’t say anything right away. She just looked at her with that same expression, eyes wide, lips parted.

  Reeny was shorter than Lori and had carried a little extra weight since having Brian a few years ago. She wore her straight blond hair short – Easier to manage that way, she’d once said – and kept her makeup to a minimum for the same reason. Today she was dressed in a white blouse, gray jacket and skirt, and low-heeled black shoes. She was a real estate agent, and always liked to look professional when she was working. Lori thought they must look odd together, she in her blue smock and Reeny in her business attire.

  A Taste of Thai was a small, homey restaurant located a few blocks from the Cannery District. It had the funky, rundown look of a lot of establishments in this area of town – faded carpet, worn chairs, water damage on some of the ceiling tiles – but the food was always excellent and the staff efficient and friendly. It had been Lori and Reeny’s go-to place since their early twenties. Lori had hoped that meeting here would make her feel comforted, safe. But she kept glancing around, surreptitiously observing the other customers and the waitstaff, examining their left hands and looking for red-painted pinky nails. So far she’d seen none, but every time someone new walked into the restaurant, she checked again. They were out there somewhere, the members of the Cabal, just waiting for the next opportunity to fuck with her. She could feel it.

  It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you, she thought.

  She felt guilty telling her story to Reeny. She didn’t spend as much time with her sister as she should, and when they did manage to get together, it seemed she usually asked Reeny to help her with one problem or another. But today she couldn’t help it. She needed to talk to someone about what had happened last night – and the weirdness that had occurred at work today – and who else could she turn to but her sister?

  She smiled nervously at Reeny.

  “You’re awfully quiet.”

  Reeny started, as if Lori’s words had brought her out of a daze.

  “It’s a hell of a lot to take in.”

  “I know. You probably think I’ve lost my mind.”

  She hoped Reeny would protest, would say she didn’t think anything of the sort. Her silence hurt worse than Lori had expected.

  “So everything was fine until the woman with the weird eyes started talking to you in the grocery store.”

  “Yes. No bizarre encounters, no strange nightmares. Not before her.”

  Reeny nodded slowly. Lori had the impression she did this more to give herself time to think than because she was agreeing with what she’d said.

  “And you think this mysterious group – the Cabal – is behind all of this.”

  The idea sounded crazy coming from her sister, like sign-the-commitment-papers-and-lock-her-up crazy. But she nodded.

  “And you believe that the things you dreamed about – the Nightway, the tower – are real.”

  Lori wanted to deny it, to tell Reeny that of course she didn’t think that those dreams were real, or at least a different kind of real. She’d have to be insane to think that, right? But she said nothing, and Reeny went on.

  “Do you think the Cabal—” she grimaced as she said the word, “—somehow got to Katie and Melinda and…what? Did something to them?”

  That’s exactly what she thought, but she said, “I don’t know.”

  Reeny took a sip of water. Another stalling tactic, Lori thought. Reeny put her glass down on the table and sat back in her chair.

  “If it was anyone else but you telling me all this, I’d think they were playing some kind of sick joke on me or they were….” She trailed off.

  “Nuts,” Lori finished.

  Reeny nodded. “But unless you’ve suddenly developed a dark sense of humor – I mean really dark – or you’ve had a stroke or a psychotic break in the last couple days….”

  Lori felt encouraged by her sister’s words.

  “Does that mean you believe me?”

  “I didn’t say that. I mean, come on. It’s a lot, Lori. A whole fucking lot.”

  Lori felt disappointed, but she didn’t blame Reeny. She was sure she’d feel the same if their positions were reversed. But before she could say anything else, Reeny held up a hand to stop her.

  “But let’s say for the sake of argument that it’s true. It all seems to come down to that one message, the one that the Cabal gave you.”

  “Confess and atone,” Lori said. “Or suffer.” Speaking the words caused her to sh
udder.

  “A lot of the things that have happened in the last day could count as you suffering, couldn’t they? Like you’re being punished for something you did.”

  Lori thought about this for a moment. Goat-Eyes had delivered the Cabal’s message, and after that, everything had started going to hell for her. Almost getting hit in FoodSaver’s parking lot by that poor man. The shadow creatures breaking into her apartment. Her nightmare of being tortured in the Vermilion Tower. Officer Rauch leaving the message on her bathroom mirror. Melinda and Katie turning psycho…. She supposed all of those incidents could be looked at as ways of making her suffer.

  She nodded.

  “And the Cabal wants you to confess to something you did – or at least what they think you did – and make amends for it somehow. So if you can figure out what they think you’ve done, then you can atone for it, whatever that entails. And once you do—”

  “It’ll be over,” Lori finished.

  “That would seem to be the logical conclusion. As logical as any of this shit can be, anyway. So whether this stuff is real or…I don’t know, some kind of message your subconscious is trying to send you, it all comes down to the same question: What could you have done that the Cabal would think was so bad they need to punish you in both the real world and the dream world?”

  Aashrita’s face came immediately into Lori’s mind, but she banished the image just as swiftly.

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  Reeny looked at her for a long moment. She might be the younger sister, but she’d always acted like the older of the two, and she could always tell when Lori was lying to her. She’d gotten even better at assessing her truthfulness since she’d become a mother. But Lori had banished the thought of Aashrita so thoroughly that she didn’t remember having it in the first place. Eventually Reeny relaxed, evidently satisfied that Lori had told the truth.

  “Then I suggest you figure it out fast and do whatever you need to in order to make it better. Otherwise, things are going to get worse. Probably a lot worse.”

  Reeny’s warning wasn’t phrased in the same language as the Cabal’s, but her words were still chilling, so much so that Lori looked at her sister’s left pinky finger. But the nail was free of polish. Reeny noted Lori’s examination of her finger, but instead of getting angry that her sister would entertain the notion, however briefly, that she was a member of the Cabal, she looked sad and sympathetic.

  “Promise me something,” Reeny said.

  “Anything.”

  “Go see someone, get a professional opinion about all this.”

  Lori bristled at the suggestion.

  “You mean go see a shrink.”

  “Yes,” Reeny said. “Do it to humor me, if nothing else. I’m worried about you, Sissy.”

  That had been what Reeny had called her when they were kids – Sissy. Lori had hated it back then, but she’d come to love the word over the years, and hearing it now brought tears to her eyes. She knew Reeny didn’t believe her story. How could she? It was insane. But she loved Lori enough to talk as if she believed it, and her support meant everything.

  “Please don’t say anything about all this to Mom and Dad,” Lori pleaded. “I don’t want them worrying about me.”

  Reeny frowned, obviously unhappy with this request.

  “Please,” Lori said.

  “Okay,” Reeny agreed. “But if you—” she paused a moment before continuing, “—if things don’t start getting better soon, I think Mom and Dad should know what’s happening.”

  Lori didn’t like this, but she knew it was the best she was going to get out of Reeny, so she nodded her acceptance. She felt a little better after talking, and she was able to keep her hand mostly steady as she lifted her water to her mouth and finally took a drink. She drained half the glass before putting it back down.

  Their server came over to the table. He was a handsome Asian man in his mid-twenties. Lori didn’t know if he was Thai, but from his slight accent she thought it likely. He eyed their full plates of food and then asked, “Is there something wrong?”

  “Not at all,” Reeny said. “The food here’s always delicious. We just got carried away talking and lost track of time. Could we have a couple of to-go boxes?”

  Lori envied how easily Reeny could talk to people. She’d always been socially skilled, even when they’d been children. She’d never had any trouble making friends and, later, getting dates, and her people skills served her well as a real estate agent. Lori did okay with people once she got to know them, but she was an introvert at heart. Interacting with people for too long a time exhausted her. Not Reeny, though. She drew energy from human contact, almost like she was a psychic vampire.

  “Of course,” the server said. He smiled, then turned and walked away.

  “Did something about that smile seem off to you?” Lori asked.

  “Off?”

  “Not right. Like he wasn’t really smiling at us, like he was faking it.”

  “You’re starting to scare me,” Reeny said.

  Lori took her gaze off their departing server and met her sister’s eyes. She saw concern there, but she saw wariness, too. She doesn’t trust me, Lori realized. She can’t predict what I’ll say and do next, and that scares her. She needed to cool it with the paranoia, at least until they left the restaurant and went their separate ways.

  She dropped her gaze to her plate of cold pad thai. “Never mind,” she said.

  She thought Reeny might make an issue of her comment about the server’s smile, but instead she said, “What does Justin think about all…this?”

  Lori kept her eyes on her food as she answered. “I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet.”

  “So I know and Larry knows, but Justin doesn’t. Your boyfriend Justin.”

  Lori still had no appetite, but she picked up her fork and began moving rice noodles around on her plate. “We talked on the phone last night after I got home from FoodSaver. We got into an argument before I could tell him what had happened, and he hung up. I haven’t been able to get hold of him today.”

  Reeny shook her head. Before she could respond further, the server returned to their table with a pair of Styrofoam containers. He handed one to each of the women, and as he did so, Lori checked to make sure his left pinky finger was free of polish. It was.

  The server placed the check on the table and then with another smile that Lori thought was less than genuine, he left. Once he was gone, Reeny scowled at her, and she knew her sister had noticed her checking the man’s little finger. She didn’t comment on it, though.

  “I’m not surprised you and Justin haven’t talked yet. You guys have a lot of trouble communicating.”

  This was the last thing Lori needed right now. Reeny wasn’t Justin’s biggest fan, and she’d made no secret that she thought he wasn’t right for Lori. She thought he was too self-focused, almost to the point of being neurotic.

  “This stuff isn’t the kind of thing you can communicate easily over the phone.” She hated how defensive she sounded, but whenever Reeny was critical of Justin – which was often – Lori felt a need to defend him. Or maybe she was defending her choice of him as a boyfriend. She felt that by making excuses, she was only confirming Reeny’s assessment, but she couldn’t stop herself.

  Reeny seemed to sense this wasn’t the time to dig into Lori’s relationship problems, and she changed the subject. “Are you planning to go back to work today?”

  Lori thought of Katie’s bloodstained mouth, saw her offering the remains of the cat and asking, Want some? “No fucking way. As soon as we’re done here, I’ll call in sick.”

  Melinda would be pissed at the disruption in the afternoon’s schedule. Katie – assuming she wasn’t running around outside looking for more cats to eat – would have to call all of Lori’s clients for the rest of the day and reschedule their
appointments. Lori didn’t care, though. She couldn’t bring herself to return to Get Moving! She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to go back.

  The server returned for their check, and Reeny took a credit card from her wallet and handed it to him along with the bill. He took them with a smile and headed off again. Lori wanted to watch him closely as he departed, wanted to search for a sign – however small – that something was wrong about him. But she knew what Reeny would think if she did, and she forced herself not to look at the man as he walked away from their table. Reeny’s eyes narrowed as if she sensed Lori’s struggle, but she didn’t remark on it.

  “Thanks for picking up the tab,” Lori said.

  “My pleasure. So if you’re not going back to work, what are you going to do with yourself the rest of the day?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it yet.”

  Normally, she might’ve gone home, but her apartment didn’t feel safe anymore. Even if one of the maintenance workers had replaced her patio door’s lock, there was no reason to think that the shadow creatures couldn’t find some way into her apartment again. And if they didn’t make another attempt to break in, if she fell asleep and took a nap, she might find herself back in the Vermilion Tower, picking up exactly where she’d left off, with the Cabal torturing her. And she had no idea how long Larry’s signing gig would last today. There was a good chance he’d be home when she got there, and while she’d find his presence a comfort, they weren’t a couple any longer and she thought it best to maintain a certain amount of emotional distance between them. Given how scared she was right now, it would be all too easy to fall back into old patterns of behavior, to seek a return to what they once had, simply for the solace that such closeness might bring. Larry might be in a ‘guy phase’ right now, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be tempted to fall back into bed with her if she gave him the opportunity. No, it would be best to keep him at arm’s length for a while – for both their sakes.